Stephanie Wolfe Murray - A Life in Books
My mother passed away in 2017 and I put together a short book of recollections about her. It was designed by Jim Hutcheson, a great book designer and friend of my mother, and sold out immediately.
Why I wrote this book?
After she died in 2017 I realised that my mother had been the love of my life--a sentiment that my girlfriend at the time did not appreciate.
How was I supposed to deal with the grief and confusion of her passing? I still don't know and can offer no advice, even though my father and nephew have passed on since then.
My reaction to her untimely death (she was only 76) was to throw myself into writing, editing and the publishing of this book. The fact that I was able to do something--collect memories, edit them, organise its production--helped me to avoid wallowing in sadness.
It was my way of dealing with her absence.
Book summary
This is a short book, a booklet, consisting of heartfelt, passionate and sometimes funny statements (memories) of Stephanie Wolfe Murray (1941-2017). It starts off with a letter by her, a letter that ends with a copy of her signature. The testimonials cover her childhood, the early/idyllic years of her marriage, some beautiful eulogies from Magnus and Gavin (two of her four sons) and a series of fascinating stories by people she worked with in publishing and humanitarian aid.
A good summary of the book is the statement by one of the contributors who said that everyone seemed to be in love with her--but not the sickly sweet, sentimental love that prevails on Valentine's Day; this is the dynamic love that motivates people to laugh and do extraordinary things.
Extracts
"You radiated warmth, love, beauty, fairness and fun." Adrian Gell
"Granny was great. She had a life that we will all remember." Luca Wolfe Murray
"The most amazing person I’ve ever met." Jude Zietara
"She’ll be organising everybody now in heaven." Pete Morgan
"There will never be anyone like her." Toby Gough
"And so…a few years later, now with a few surfing scars to add to the skateboarding mishaps, I found myself in a Romanian asylum where children were left to die. And there, I felt like a shield – between their fragile lives and a crazy, unjust world. From there to wars in Bosnia, Somalia, Liberia I’ve carried on. I’ve never wanted to be, or do, anything else since. It feels like, in a way, I am your living legacy. You know how proud I am to think how much you have shaped my life? A whirlwind, a chain reaction, that started with You! With your belief that life is made of hope and possibilities to craft a better world." Magnus Wolfe Murray
"Not owning a car or a bicycle, I used to hitchhike to and from work. I was quite often given a lift by a young woman who drove a battered Land Rover (she often drove in bare feet, I noticed, a fact that added immeasurably to her unselfconscious, somewhat louche glamour). This was Stephanie Wolfe Murray, and she lived further up the valley in which my parents’ house was situated." William Boyd
"She broke the mould in Scottish publishing and I remember well how her innovation, sheer go-and-get-it brio, just swept everyone away in her path. More than a breath of fresh air in rather staid Caledonian publishing, she was a whirlwind. Her charm turned scowling misogynist monosyllabic authors inside out, into grinning schoolboys." Michael Wigan
"Those who had dealings with her in the world of publishing were left in no doubt that here was a person touched by something that we should not hesitate to call greatness. And now that she has left us, the length and depth and breadth of that greatness has become apparent. That is so often the case, and the regret that such a realisation brings seems unavoidable. We often sense a person’s worth only when we sit down, much later, to assess a life that has run its course." Alexander McCall Smith
Finally, it's worth pointing you to this lyrical, passionate, inspiring piece of writing about her by Tim Neat, which was published in the Oxford Dictionary of National Biography