It’s difficult to imagine the world without Jude Zietara, who died suddenly on the 3rd of April 2026. He was a blaze of light, a comet in the night sky, a magical creature, an original thinker and bursting with creative potential. He was only 24 when he left us.
I want to use this space to share my happy memories of Jude.
I was trying to think of my first memory of Jude. For almost a quarter of a century he’s always been around, but when did I first see him? I don’t remember. I said this to Kim, Jude’s father, my brother, who said: “I do. I remember him being born. I was there.” Both Kim and Nyk, his mother, gave him a lifetime of love and support. They gave their all. My mother, Jude’s grandmother, was also a source of unconditional love for Jude and it was at her home in Traquair, the Scottish Borders, that we all used to meet up.
For me, grief isn’t a series of five logical steps. It’s a process of confusion and it raises impossible questions (why did this happen?) and it also brings along its hideous bedfellow: Guilt (I should have visited him and his mother more!) The temptation is to hunker down, to burrow under the blankets, to wallow in sadness and guilt and regret–but no, I’m moving on from all that and focusing on the happy memories, and we should celebrate him.
I want to share my memories of Jude through a few photos:
This is the most magical photo I’ve ever taken and I promise you it has not been altered or edited in any way. I still look at it in wonder. How was it possible that the child on the swing fitted so perfectly into Jude’s gesture? I have no idea. Maybe we need a mystic to explain. But what was he doing? you might be wondering. The photo was taken at Kim’s wedding to Fi Morris in 2014 and he was passing the ring to our cousin Anne Goring. It was part of the celebrant-led ceremony. Looking at this photo now, 12 years later, after Jude’s passing, it tells me that there was something magical about Jude, something about him that was always beyond my understanding.
I have scores of photos of Jude on my laptop but this one jumped out at me as his face is obscured by light. I’ve never actually noticed this photo before and I don’t know who took it. It reminds me of one of those images of the gods with a halo of light around their face. Jude wasn’t a religious person as far as I remember (correct me if I’m wrong in the comments below) but this image makes me think that he was a comet that blazed through our lives. In the photo you can see Jude’s cousins–all of whom he loved fiercely–from the left you have Caleb, Alec, Nikita, Aidan and Lara.
This photo needs to follow the one above as it shows Jude in all his majesty–he’s the third one from the left in case you didn’t know him–and it’s no surprise that he was listed as an “actor and performer” on the casting agency Star Now. My late mother would have said “he’s a handsome devil!” You might be wondering what Jude and his cousins were doing in this line up? We were gathered at my parents house for a birthday party and they were putting on a spontaneous show–a sketch–and it was hilarious. From the left you can see Jude’s cousins Aidan, Nikita, the great man himself, Caleb, Nathan and Luca.
In this photo you can see Jude in his adult prime, on the left, with his cousin Lara (my beloved daughter) and his uncle Calum Goring. We were at the wake, in Traquair village (Scottish Borders) after my father’s funeral.
Finally, I’d like to share this image of Jude doing what he loved most–playing. Here he is shooting down a hill above his grandparents house in Traquair, in the Scottish Borders–the region in which he spent most of his life in.
If you have any happy memories of Jude Zietara–however long, short, silly or sad–feel free to share them below.
Jude’s funeral service took place on the 24th April 2026 at Roucan Loch Crematorium, Dumfries, DG1 3QE. There were ceremonies in the main stupa at Samye Ling Monastery prior to the funeral and a (crowded) wake at the Eskdalemuir community centre after the funeral.
POSTSCRIPT
Jude’s send off was incredible. His mother Nyk was closely connected to the Samye Ling Buddhist monastery and they honoured him by laying his coffin in the main stupa for three days prior to the funeral. The monastery also hosted those of us who had driven up from England. I am grateful to them and it feels like a blessing to have such a great spiritual send off.
Here are some photos I took at the monastery:
The monks and nuns at Samye Ling monastery asked us to help them light 1000 candles in commemoration of Jude Zietara.
The Stupa where Jude Zietara’s coffin was laid out three days prior to his funeral.
One of the many beautiful statues that can be seen at Samye Ling monastery in Dumfriesshire in the Scottish Borders. The snake spirt reminds me of Jude.
Three ladies (Katie, Fi and Lesley) who came to Jude’s funeral, seen here by the river at Samye Ling monastery.
The actual funeral, the ceremony at the crematorium, was rather conventional compared to the event at the monastery. Kim gave a short introductory statement and introduced everyone, and Nyk gave an absolutely brilliant eulogy of Jude’s life. The place was packed; Jude had a lot of friends and admirers. What I liked most about this part of the day was the song that played at the end–Born Slippy by the band Underworld. It’s one of the most memorable songs to feature in one of the best film ever to be made in Scotland: Trainspotting; a film that was set in Edinburgh and made in Glasgow–the two cities where Jude lived.
And finally, my son Luca made a heartfelt comment about Jude that you can see below (my brother Magnus’s comment is also quite inspiring). Luca mentioned a photo he carries around in his wallet–the only photo he carries in his wallet–and he sent it to me for sharing here. You can see it below. It was a shot of him carrying out his first business enterprise. He was about 9 years old. Luca is currently living in Tromso, Norway, 350 km north of the Arctic Circle. He flew over to attend Jude’s funeral and I suspect he came the furthest to commemorate Jude.
Jude Zietara and Luca Wolfe Murray (circa 2011), on the road at Glenlude, Traquair, selling tea, coffee and cakes at their “Pop up Cafe,” where they raised money for a Romanian charity–to help Roma kids access kindergarten.
Jude Alexi Zietara: born on the 12th of November 2001; died on the 3rd of April 2026.
Jude Zietara (2001–2026) | Obituary & Tribute, luca wolfe murray, Samye Ling Monastery
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I’m still in disbelief. My cousin, my little companion and competitor – can he really be gone?
I deeply regret that we weren’t in closer touch as we got older. I sent him the first ever text a couple of months ago, hoping to reconnect, and it breaks my heart that the conversation never even started.
I remember when we were kids, selling cakes together on the side of the road in the Scottish hills. I remember him being so fast, strong, and just naturally better than me at every sport – something I definitely envied. I was only better at smooth-talking my way out of our mischief, which I think he envied in return. We were always competing, literally everything was a game and there could only be one winner!
I still carry a photo of us from those cake-selling days in the wallet that our grandma gave me.
I really wish we had had the chance to share some deeper conversations and get to know each other better as adults.
What lovely thoughts and pictures – thank you for sharing. I only met him briefly but heard so much more about him – an unbearable loss for all who knew him – taken so soon.
When I shared it with my 94 year old mother her comment was: “how can it be that I got to live 70 years more?” Yes, how can it be?
Thanks Rupert, what a wonderful expression of so much that I’m going through too: confusion, disbelief, guilt and not seeing him at Christmas in Edinburgh and so on.
It’s just so hard to wrap my head around.
I feel that we’ve been hit by so many deaths recently that I should be more “prepared” or something, but it’s nothing like that. I’m just hollow and, like you say, feel like hiding under the blankets or sinking myself in work in the refugee camps out here in Bangladesh where I’m living.
So many memories. We lived in Portugal for a few years, building up an old ruin into a home. Jude would come and visit for weeks at a time, and we’d have a blast. And so when we were out there in Portuguese rivers and playing around with the fires, the pizza oven, the building work, he just chilled and went with the flow. Until the world cup final of whatever year between Spain and Netherlands – we went over the border to Spain to watch it, and he stuck to his Dutch team he must have adopted, come what may, while the entire square, city, country erupted around us at every goal, with Shakira’s music blasting. It was quite a night.
I would often be back [in Edinburgh], spend time at home and he’d visit. We’d have really special hours, pottering around, talking about different ways people navigate through life. He was such a thoughtful, introspective, deep character. He read a lot and wrote down his thoughts in poetry and prose.
If I had a farm I would have hired him to work with the animals and be the resident poet.
Also, such a beautiful man – I think more so when he grew up. The picture of him with Lara and Callum shows that – like a really thoughtful, deeply intelligent travelling minstrel.
When I learned of his passing, I had this sense that our Mama, Stephanie, would be the first to meet him, and guide him on his journey home. After losing Kasha I have come to believe that our earth-time journeys are short – our actual long lives continue. And I know we will be surrounded by those who love us there. I had this strong feeling that he was with his granny and she was holding him tight.
All in all, I didn’t really know Jude—we met once, at the birthday party of Lily, my brother Luke’s daughter—but to this day I remember his radiant, smiling face framed by black curls, happily enjoying a slice of cake… as if it were yesterday… He left us far too soon… my heartfelt condolences for your entire Family…